But here’s what no one’s saying out loud: How many times have you stood at this exact same spot before? New year, new goals, new you… for about three weeks until real life crashes back in and you’re left feeling like a failure all over again.
What if the problem isn’t your lack of willpower? What if the entire framework is wrong?
Today we’re talking about why your 2026 might need less achieving and more becoming. Because there’s a fundamental difference between building a life through sheer force of will and allowing God to transform you from the inside out. And as we stand on the edge of a new year, I think it’s time we talk about which one actually leads to lasting change.
PART 1: The Achievement Trap
Let’s be honest about what most of our New Year’s resolutions really are: achievement goals dressed up in self-improvement language.
Lose 20 pounds. Read through the Bible in a year. Wake up at 5am for quiet time. Organize every closet. Meal prep every Sunday. Be more patient with your kids. Stop scrolling social media.
And listen, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to improve your life. But here’s what I’ve noticed, both in my own life and in talking with women who are exhausted from trying: we approach these goals the same way we’d approach a work project. We create systems, set deadlines, track metrics, push harder when we’re failing.
We operate from a place of doing – believing that if we just do enough, try hard enough, maintain enough discipline, we’ll finally become the women we want to be.
But Philippians 2:13 flips this entire paradigm upside down. Listen to what Paul says: “For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.”
Did you catch that? God works in you. Not you working for God. Not you striving to become acceptable to God. God is already at work within you, creating both the desire and the ability to fulfill His purposes.
This is the difference between achieving and becoming. Achieving says, “I will force myself to change through discipline and willpower.” Becoming says, “I will surrender to the transformation God is already working in me.”
PART 2: What This Actually Looks Like
So what does this look like practically? Because I know what you’re thinking – “Okay, Toresa, but I still need to lose weight, get my life organized, and actually open my Bible. Are you saying I just sit around and wait for God to magically change me?”
No. But I am saying the source of change matters desperately.
Let me give you an example. You know that woman who has her entire day planned down to 15-minute increments? Color-coded calendar, productivity apps, morning routine that starts at 5am, evening routine that ensures tomorrow’s success? She looks like she has it all together, right?
But what if underneath all that organization is anxiety? What if every minute is scheduled because she’s terrified of wasting time, of not being enough, of failing? What if her productivity is actually just control dressed up in achievement language?
Contrast that with a woman who has learned to start her day by asking, “God, what do You want me to focus on today?” Maybe her to-do list is shorter. Maybe she accomplishes less by the world’s standards. But what she does do flows from abiding in Christ, not from striving to prove her worth.
Jesus said it this way in John 15:5: “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”
Notice He doesn’t say, “Work really hard and maybe you’ll produce some fruit.” He says remain. Abide. Stay connected. And fruit happens naturally as a result of that connection.
This is becoming versus achieving. One produces fruit that lasts. The other produces exhaustion.
Here’s another example: Bible reading. The achievement approach says, “I will read through the entire Bible this year using a reading plan, and I will check off every single day.” Which sounds great until you miss a day, then two, then a week, and suddenly you’re so far behind that you just quit altogether.
The becoming approach says, “I want to know God more deeply. I want His word to transform how I think.” So maybe some days you read three chapters. Maybe some days you sit with three verses for twenty minutes. Maybe you don’t finish the whole Bible in a year, but the word you did read actually changed you because you encountered it as relationship, not assignment.
PART 3: The Real Battle
Now here’s where this gets really important, and why I think so many of us are stuck in this achievement cycle.
We achieve because we’re trying to prove something. We’re trying to prove we’re enough, we’re worthy, we’re acceptable. We’re trying to silence the voices – internal and external – that say we’re falling short.
And beneath all of that? Lies. Deep-rooted lies about who we are and what makes us valuable.
The lie that says your worth is tied to your productivity. The lie that says you’re only as good as your last accomplishment. The lie that says if you just try harder, you’ll finally be acceptable to God, to others, to yourself.
These lies create strongholds in our minds – patterns of thinking that keep us trapped in cycles of striving and shame. And you can’t achieve your way out of a stronghold. You can’t willpower your way past a lie you believe at your core.
This is why New Year’s resolutions fail. Because we’re trying to change behavior without addressing belief. We’re trying to achieve transformation instead of allowing God to do the transforming work only He can do.
2 Corinthians 3:18 says it beautifully: “And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”
We become like what we behold. When we fix our eyes on Christ, when we allow His truth to replace our lies, when we surrender our striving and rest in His work… that’s when real transformation happens.
Not because we achieved it. Because we became it.
So as you stand on the edge of 2025, I want to ask you a question: What if this year looked different?
Not because you made bigger goals or tried harder or found the perfect system. But because you finally addressed what’s underneath all that striving. Because you identified the lies keeping you stuck and let God’s truth set you free. Because you learned what it means to abide instead of achieve.
That’s exactly why I created the Unshakeable: 21-Day Faith Journey.
This is a free 21-day experience designed to help you do exactly what we’ve been talking about – move from achieving to becoming. When you sign up, you’ll get a complete downloadable workbook that guides you through daily reflection and a daily email for all 21 days walking you through Discovery, Understanding, and Healing.
And here’s what I’m really excited about: over the next couple months, I’m going to be creating content that goes even deeper into these journey themes. Every week, I’ll release episodes that take two days from the journey and unpack them further – diving into the scripture, exploring the concepts more fully, giving you additional insight to complement what you’re working through in your workbook and daily emails.
So whether you’re going through the journey in January or you join later, you’ll have this growing library of teaching content available whenever you need it. The journey works on its own, but these episodes give you the option to go as deep as you want.
This is for the woman who’s tired of the hamster wheel. The woman who wants lasting transformation, not just temporary behavior change. The woman who’s ready to stop achieving and start becoming.
The journey launches in January, and it’s completely free. The link is below to sign up!
For now, I just want you to sit with this question: What might change in your life if you spent the next 21 days focusing on becoming instead of achieving?
If this resonated with you, make sure you’re subscribed so you don’t miss the journey launch or the teaching content I’ll be releasing. And I’d love to hear from you in the comments – what’s one area where you’ve been trying to achieve instead of allowing God to transform you?
I’ll see you in the new year!
Until then, remember: you are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus. You don’t have to achieve your way into His acceptance. You’re already His.
Happy New Year! Talk to you in 2026!
JOIN THE FREE 21-DAY FAITH JOURNEY: The Unshakeable: 21-Day Faith Journey is completely free and designed to help you build unshakeable faith in an unstable world.
You get:
- Complete downloadable workbook for all 21 days
- Daily emails guiding you through Discovery, Understanding, and Healing
- Companion teaching episodes (like this one!) that go deeper
This is for the woman who’s tired of the hamster wheel and ready for lasting transformation.
Sign up free: https://thegracefulgrowth.com/unshakeable/
