Who are you?
Not what you do. Not what role you play. Not what people see when they look at you.
Who are you… really?
When you strip away the titles and the accomplishments and the performance and the masks you wear to get through the day – when it’s just you and God and nothing to prove – who is that person?
Most of us don’t know how to answer that question honestly. We know who we’re supposed to be. We know who we wish we were. We know who everyone thinks we are.
But who we actually are? That’s harder.
Because looking at yourself honestly – seeing both the strengths and the weaknesses without judgment, without editing, without spinning it to sound better – that requires courage.
Today we’re diving into Day 4 of the Unshakeable journey: Who Am I Really? This is about honest self-perception before God. Not harsh. Not critical. Just… true.
But before we dive in…
Before we jump in, if you haven’t joined the free Unshakeable: 21-Day Faith Journey yet, you can sign up at thegracefulgrowth.com/unshakeable. It’s a complete downloadable workbook with daily emails walking you through Discovery, Understanding, and Healing – designed to help you build unshakeable faith in an unstable world.
Now, here’s the thing – this is called a 21-day journey, but you don’t have to do it in 21 consecutive days. You can work through it at your own pace. Take time to absorb. Sit with the hard questions. Some days might need more than one day. And that’s completely okay. This isn’t a race. It’s about depth, not speed.
Also, if you find you need more space for journaling than what’s provided in the workbook, there are additional journal pages in the back. Use them. Fill them up. This is YOUR journey, and you get to make it work for you.
And the video episodes? They’re your companion content, going even deeper into each day’s themes.
Alright. Let’s get into this.
So we’ve been on this journey for a few days now.
Day 1, you got honest about what brought you here. You named your struggles without sanitizing them.
Days 2 and 3, you identified the strongholds keeping you trapped and the lies fueling those strongholds.
And now we’re at a critical juncture. Because before we can keep moving forward – before we can start the work of healing and transformation – we need to establish a baseline.
Who are you right now? Not who you were five years ago. Not who you’re becoming. Not who you wish you were.
Who are you today?
And here’s why this matters: you can’t get where you’re going if you don’t know where you’re starting from.
Think about it. If I asked you for directions to the grocery store, the first thing you’d ask me is “Where are you right now?” Because the route from your house is completely different than the route from mine.
Same with transformation. The path God has for you is specific to where you actually are – not where you think you should be.
But here’s where we get stuck. Most of us don’t know how to look at ourselves honestly.
We swing between two extremes. Either we’re hyper-critical – seeing only our flaws, our failures, our weaknesses, beating ourselves up for not being further along – or we’re in denial, glossing over the hard stuff, keeping up appearances, refusing to acknowledge the areas that actually need attention.
Neither extreme helps us. Neither one is truth.
And what we need – what God is asking us to do today – is to stand in the tension between those two extremes and just… be honest.
To look at ourselves the way God looks at us. With both clarity and compassion. Seeing what’s true without making it mean we’re worthless.
So today we’re asking three questions that are designed to help you see yourself clearly. Not harshly. Clearly.
Let’s dive in.
PART 1: Honest Self-Description
The first question in your workbook today is: How would you describe yourself right now?
And the instructions say: “Include both strengths and weaknesses – be honest, not harsh.”
That distinction matters. Because there’s a difference between honesty and harshness.
Honesty says: “I’m struggling with patience right now. I’ve been snapping at my kids more than usual and I don’t like who I’m becoming in those moments.”
Harshness says: “I’m a terrible mother. I’m failing my kids. I can’t do anything right.”
Do you see the difference?
Honesty acknowledges the struggle without making it your identity. Harshness turns the struggle into a condemnation.
And what God is asking for today is honesty. Not a performance. Not self-flagellation. Just truth.
So let me give you some examples of what honest self-description might look like.
Example 1: The Overwhelmed Woman
“Right now, I’m overwhelmed. I feel like I’m constantly behind, constantly dropping balls, constantly letting people down. I’m good at getting things done when I have clear direction, but I struggle when there are too many competing priorities. I care deeply about people, but I’m not good at saying no, so I end up overcommitted and resentful. I want to be present with my family, but I’m distracted by everything I think I should be doing.”
That’s honest. It names strengths (good at execution, cares about people) and weaknesses (struggles with prioritization, can’t say no) without making any of it mean she’s a failure.
Example 2: The Isolated Woman
“Right now, I’m lonely. I have people around me, but I don’t feel truly known by anyone. I’m good at listening to others and making them feel seen, but I struggle to open up about my own struggles. I’m afraid if people knew the real me – the messy, struggling version – they’d be disappointed. So I keep everyone at arm’s length and then wonder why I feel so alone.”
Honest. Names both the strength (good listener, makes others feel seen) and the struggle (can’t be vulnerable, keeps people at a distance).
Example 3: The Burned Out Woman
“Right now, I’m exhausted. Physically, emotionally, spiritually – I’m running on empty. I’m good at powering through, at getting things done even when I don’t feel like it, but I’m terrible at resting. I feel guilty when I’m not productive. I know I need to slow down, but I don’t know how to do that without feeling like I’m failing.”
See what we’re doing here? We’re not just listing flaws. We’re also acknowledging strengths. Because you’re not all bad. You have gifts. You have good qualities. And pretending you don’t – false humility – isn’t helpful either.
But we’re also not glossing over the hard stuff. The areas where you’re struggling. The patterns you don’t like. The ways you’re showing up that don’t align with who you want to be.
Both. Strengths and weaknesses. Honesty, not harshness.
Now here’s where I want to push you a little bit.
When you answer this question in your workbook, I want you to resist the urge to edit yourself.
Don’t write what you think sounds spiritual. Don’t write what you think you’re supposed to say. Don’t soften it so much that it loses its truth.
Write what’s actually true.
Because God already knows. He’s not going to be shocked by what you write. He’s not going to read it and think “Oh wow, I didn’t realize she was struggling with that.”
He knows. He’s been waiting for you to acknowledge it so He can actually help you.
And here’s the beautiful thing about Ephesians 2:10, which is today’s scripture: “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
You are God’s handiwork. His workmanship. His masterpiece.
Right now. Today. In this season. With all your strengths and all your weaknesses and all your struggles.
You’re not a rough draft waiting to be worthy. You’re already His handiwork. Already created with intention. Already loved exactly as you are.
But – and this is important – being His handiwork doesn’t mean you’re finished. It means He’s still working. Still shaping. Still transforming.
And the transformation works better when you’re honest about where you actually are.
PART 2: Needs vs. Wants
The second question asks: What do you genuinely need right now? What do you deeply want? (And it notes: these may be different things.)
This is such an important distinction.
Because what you need and what you want aren’t always the same thing. And learning to tell the difference is part of growing in wisdom and maturity.
Let me give you some examples.
Example 1: Rest vs. Escape
Maybe what you need is rest. Real rest. The kind where you turn off your phone, stop producing, stop performing, and just… be.
But what you want is escape. You want to scroll Instagram for an hour. You want to binge watch Netflix. You want to eat the entire bag of chips because it feels like the only way to numb the overwhelm.
The want feels easier in the moment. But it doesn’t actually meet the need.
Example 2: Healing vs. Comfort
Maybe what you need is to address the wound underneath your struggle. To go to counseling. To have the hard conversation. To forgive the person who hurt you. To bring the shame into the light.
But what you want is comfort. You want the pain to go away without having to do the hard work. You want a quick fix. You want someone to tell you it’s not that bad and you’re fine.
The want feels safer. But it doesn’t actually heal you.
Example 3: Connection vs. Validation
Maybe what you need is genuine connection. Someone who knows the real you and loves you anyway. Deep, authentic relationships where you can be vulnerable without fear of judgment.
But what you want is validation. You want likes on your posts. You want people to tell you you’re doing great. You want affirmation that makes you feel better temporarily but doesn’t actually fill the deeper longing.
Do you see the difference?
Needs are often deeper, harder, slower to satisfy. They require us to be honest, to be vulnerable, to do work we’d rather avoid.
Wants are often surface-level, easier to access, but ultimately unsatisfying. They’re the quick fix that feels good for a moment but doesn’t last.
And here’s what I’ve learned: we will keep chasing our wants until we’re willing to acknowledge our needs.
Because the want is usually just the need in disguise. It’s the shortcut. The counterfeit. The thing we reach for when we’re too scared or too tired to go after what we actually need.
So when you answer this question in your workbook, I want you to dig a little deeper.
Don’t just write “I need more time” or “I want to lose weight.”
Ask yourself: What am I really longing for underneath that?
“I need more time” might actually be “I need to stop saying yes to things that don’t matter so I have space for the things that do.”
“I want to lose weight” might actually be “I need to stop using food to cope with emotions I don’t know how to process.”
Get underneath the surface want to the deeper need.
And then – and this is the critical part – bring that need to God.
Not because He doesn’t already know. But because naming it out loud, acknowledging it before Him, is the beginning of letting Him meet it.
Matthew 7:7 says “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”
But you have to ask. You have to seek. You have to knock.
God doesn’t force His provision on you. He waits for you to turn toward Him with your actual need – not the sanitized version, not the want you think sounds more spiritual – but the real, deep, vulnerable need underneath.
PART 3: How God Sees You
The third question is: How do you think God sees you in this season? What would He say about who you are?
This one is hard for a lot of us.
Because what we think God sees and what He actually sees are often very different things.
We think He sees our failures. Our weaknesses. Our shortcomings. All the ways we’re not measuring up.
We think He’s disappointed. Frustrated. Waiting for us to finally get our act together so He can be proud of us.
But that’s not how He sees you.
Let me tell you what I think God sees when He looks at you right now, in this season, exactly as you are.
He sees His daughter. His beloved. His handiwork.
He sees someone who showed up. Someone who’s trying. Someone who’s tired and overwhelmed and struggling but still here, still seeking, still reaching for Him even when it feels hard.
He sees your heart. Not just your behavior. Not just your output. Your actual heart.
And He loves what He sees.
Not because you’re perfect. Not because you’ve earned it. But because He’s your Father and you’re His child and His love isn’t conditional on your performance.
Romans 5:8 says “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
While we were still. Not after we cleaned up our act. Not once we proved we were worthy. While we were still a mess.
That’s when He loved us. That’s when He chose us. That’s when He gave everything for us.
And if He loved you then – when you were dead in your sin, separated from Him, unable to save yourself – how much more does He love you now? Now that you’re His? Now that you’re seeking Him? Now that you’re doing the hard work of transformation?
He’s not disappointed in you. He’s not frustrated with your slow progress. He’s not waiting for you to finally be good enough.
He’s proud of you. Delighted in you. Cheering you on.
And when He looks at this season – this hard, messy, overwhelming season you’re in – He doesn’t see failure.
He sees faithfulness. He sees courage. He sees a woman who’s willing to look honestly at herself, who’s willing to admit she needs help, who’s willing to keep showing up even when it’s hard.
That’s what He sees.
So when you answer this question in your workbook, I want you to try something.
Instead of writing what you think God sees (which is usually a projection of your own shame and insecurity), I want you to write what Scripture says He sees.
You are loved (1 John 3:1). You are chosen (1 Peter 2:9). You are His workmanship (Ephesians 2:10). You are being transformed (2 Corinthians 3:18). You are complete in Christ (Colossians 2:10).
Not someday. Not once you fix all your issues. Right now. Today. In the middle of the mess.
That’s how He sees you.
And the more you can learn to see yourself the way He sees you – with both honesty about where you are and hope for where He’s taking you – the more freedom you’ll experience.
PRACTICAL APPLICATION
So here’s your action step for today.
In your workbook, answer those three questions honestly:
- How would you describe yourself right now? (Strengths AND weaknesses, honest not harsh)
- What do you genuinely need right now? What do you deeply want? (Notice if they’re different)
- How do you think God sees you in this season? What would He say about who you are?
Don’t rush through this. This isn’t a checkbox exercise.
Sit with these questions. Let them do their work in you.
And then – this is your action step – complete this sentence and say it out loud:
“I am [your name], God’s beloved daughter. Right now, I am [honest description], and God loves me exactly as I am.”
Not “God will love me once I fix myself.”
Not “God loves me in spite of who I am.”
God loves you exactly as you are. Right now. Today.
Say it out loud. Let yourself hear it. Let it sink in deeper than your head into your heart.
Because you are not too much and you are not too broken and you are not too far behind.
You are exactly where you need to be for God to do the work only He can do.
If you’re resonating with this journey, the complete Unshakeable: 21-Day Faith Journey workbook is waiting for you at thegracefulgrowth.com/unshakeable. It’s free – workbook, daily emails, all of it.
Next time, we’re diving into Day 5: The Burden Inventory. We’re going to name what’s weighing you down specifically – the areas you want and need to change. Because you can’t lay your burdens at God’s feet if you won’t acknowledge what you’re carrying.
If this resonated with you, subscribe so you don’t miss what’s coming. And I’d love to hear from you – leave a comment or connect at thegracefulgrowth.com on our blog!
Thanks for being here. I’ll see you next time!
