The world has been shaping what you believe about yourself since the day you were born.
Through media. Through culture. Through social media. Through a million subtle messages about who you should be, what you should value, what makes you worthy.
And most of the time, you didn’t even realize it was happening.
You absorbed the message that your worth is in your appearance. That success means a certain income, a certain house, a certain lifestyle. That aging is something to fight. That your body is a problem to fix.
You internalized lies about what makes a woman valuable. What makes her worthy of love. What makes her enough.
And now those cultural lies are shaping how you see yourself. How you measure your worth. How you live your life.
Today is Day 10 of the Unshakeable journey, and we’re separating God’s truth from the world’s lies. Because you can’t be free if you’re still living according to messages that were never true in the first place.
But before we dive in…
Welcome to Graceful Growth in Midlife. I’m Toresa.
If you’re new here, this podcast is where we navigate cultural chaos and personal struggles with biblical clarity and grace. We’re figuring this out together…creating unshakeable faith in an unstable world!
Before we jump in, if you haven’t joined the free Unshakeable: 21-Day Faith Journey yet, you can sign up at thegracefulgrowth.com/unshakeable. It’s a complete downloadable workbook with daily emails walking you through Discovery, Understanding, and Healing – designed to help you build unshakeable faith in an unstable world.
Now, here’s the thing – this is called a 21-day journey, but you don’t have to do it in 21 consecutive days. You can work through it at your own pace. Take time to absorb. Sit with the hard questions. Some days might need more than one day. And that’s completely okay. This isn’t a race. It’s about depth, not speed.
Also, if you find you need more space for journaling than what’s provided in the workbook, there are additional journal pages in the back. Use them. Fill them up. This is YOUR journey, and you get to make it work for you.
And these episodes? They’re your companion content, going even deeper into each day’s themes.
Alright. Let’s get into this.
Yesterday, we looked at childhood wounds. The messages you received from parents, siblings, peers, teachers, church.
Today, we’re looking at a different source of lies: culture.
And here’s what’s tricky about cultural lies – they’re so pervasive, so normalized, so accepted that you don’t even question them.
Everyone believes them. Everyone lives by them. So they must be true, right?
Except they’re not.
Romans 12:2 says “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
Do not conform to the pattern of this world.
That means the world has a pattern. A way of thinking. A set of values. A definition of what matters, what’s important, what makes you valuable.
And we’re told: Don’t conform to that. Don’t let the world squeeze you into its mold.
Instead, be transformed by the renewing of your mind. By replacing the world’s lies with God’s truth.
But you can’t replace what you haven’t identified.
So today, we’re asking three questions:
- What messages has the world told you about who you should be or what you should value?
- Which of these cultural messages have you believed about yourself?
- How does God’s truth about your identity differ from what the world says?
And this is going to be uncomfortable. Because you’re going to realize you’ve been living according to lies you didn’t even know were lies.
But that discomfort? That’s the beginning of freedom.
Let’s dig in.
PART 1: What Messages Has the World Told You?
The first question in your workbook asks: What messages has the world (media, culture, social media) told you about who you should be or what you should value?
Let me walk you through some of the biggest cultural lies that shape women over 40.
Cultural Lie #1: Your worth is in your appearance.
The world says: You are valuable if you’re young, thin, beautiful. Aging is something to fight. Wrinkles are a problem to fix. Gray hair is something to hide. Weight gain is failure.
This message is everywhere. In magazines. In advertising. In the $500 billion beauty industry that profits from you believing you’re not enough as you are.
And you absorb it. You internalize it. You start believing that your value decreases as you age. That you need to look younger to matter.
Cultural Lie #2: Success equals worth.
The world says: You are valuable if you achieve. If you climb the ladder. If you make a certain income. If you have a title, a position, a platform.
Stay-at-home moms are asked “So what do you do?” with a tone that implies they don’t do anything important. Women who step back from careers to care for aging parents or grandchildren are pitied. As if caring for people has less value than a paycheck.
And you start measuring your worth by productivity. By what you accomplish. By whether you’re “successful” according to the world’s definition.
Cultural Lie #3: You can have it all (and if you’re struggling, you’re doing it wrong).
The world says: You should be able to balance career, marriage, parenting, friendships, health, hobbies, and still look put together. If you’re overwhelmed, you just need better time management. If you’re exhausted, you just need more self-care.
And you feel like a failure because you can’t do it all. Because the truth is – you can’t have it all, at least not all at once. But the culture won’t admit that. So you keep trying. And keep failing. And keep believing something’s wrong with you.
Cultural Lie #4: Your body is a problem to fix.
The world says: Lose weight. Tone up. Fight aging. Hide imperfections. Your body as it naturally is – aging, changing, bearing the marks of life lived – is unacceptable.
And you go to war with your body. You hate it. You punish it. You’re never satisfied with it. Because the goal post keeps moving and there’s always another “fix” to buy.
Cultural Lie #5: More is better.
The world says: Bigger house. Better car. More stuff. Upgrade. Keep up with the Joneses. Your worth is in what you own.
And you find yourself in debt, in clutter, in constant dissatisfaction because you’re chasing a moving target that was designed to never satisfy you.
Cultural Lie #6: Independence is the goal.
The world says: You don’t need anyone. Be self-sufficient. Asking for help is weakness. Needing people means you’re not strong enough.
And you isolate yourself. You carry burdens alone. You refuse to be vulnerable because vulnerability feels like failure.
Cultural Lie #7: Your value is in how others perceive you.
The world says: Curate your image. Get the likes. Build the following. Your worth is measured in social media engagement, in how many people admire you, in the persona you present.
And you perform. You hide your struggles. You present a polished version of yourself while the real you is exhausted from keeping up the facade.
Do you see how many lies you’re swimming in?
These aren’t just random messages. These are intentional. The culture benefits when you believe you’re not enough. When you’re constantly trying to fix yourself. When you’re comparing, consuming, performing.
Because that keeps you distracted. That keeps you buying. That keeps you too busy to ask bigger questions about what actually matters.
And here’s the scariest part: you probably didn’t even realize these were lies. They’re so normalized, so accepted, so pervasive that you just thought “that’s how life is.”
But it’s not. It’s how the world says life should be. And that’s very different from how God says life should be.
PART 2: Which Cultural Messages Have You Believed?
The second question asks: Which of these cultural messages have you believed about yourself? (About your body, success, worth, purpose?)
Now we’re getting personal.
It’s one thing to acknowledge that the culture promotes lies. It’s another thing to admit you’ve been living according to them.
So let’s go through each lie and ask: Have I believed this?
“Your worth is in your appearance”
Have you believed this?
Do you avoid mirrors because you hate what you see? Do you feel less valuable now that you’re older? Do you spend excessive time, money, energy trying to look younger? Do you believe you’d be more worthy of love if you lost weight?
If yes, you’ve believed the lie.
“Success equals worth”
Have you believed this?
Do you feel like you’re failing at life because you’re not climbing a career ladder? Do you struggle to articulate your value outside of what you accomplish? Do you feel guilty when you rest because you’re not being productive?
If yes, you’ve believed the lie.
“You can have it all”
Have you believed this?
Do you feel like you’re constantly failing because you can’t balance everything perfectly? Do you beat yourself up for being overwhelmed? Do you look at other women who seem to have it together and wonder what’s wrong with you?
If yes, you’ve believed the lie.
“Your body is a problem to fix”
Have you believed this?
Do you hate your body? Do you see aging as something to fight instead of something to embrace? Do you punish yourself with extreme diets or exercise? Do you believe you’ll finally be happy when you lose the weight?
If yes, you’ve believed the lie.
“More is better”
Have you believed this?
Do you feel like you don’t have enough even though you objectively have plenty? Do you compare your house, your car, your stuff to others? Do you accumulate things trying to fill a void that stuff can’t fill?
If yes, you’ve believed the lie.
“Independence is the goal”
Have you believed this?
Do you refuse to ask for help? Do you carry burdens alone? Do you believe needing people makes you weak? Do you isolate instead of being vulnerable?
If yes, you’ve believed the lie.
“Your value is in how others perceive you”
Have you believed this?
Do you perform for others? Do you curate your image? Do you measure your worth by likes, follows, engagement? Do you hide your real struggles because you’re afraid people will think less of you?
If yes, you’ve believed the lie.
Now here’s what I want you to hear: admitting you’ve believed these lies doesn’t mean you’re weak or stupid or bad.
It means you’re human. You’re swimming in a culture that promotes these lies 24/7. Of course you absorbed some of them.
But now you see them. Now you can name them. And that’s the first step toward replacing them with truth.
Because you can’t fight what you can’t see. And you can’t replace what you haven’t identified.
So write it down. Which cultural lies have you believed? Be specific. Be honest.
Not to shame yourself. But to expose the lies so you can dismantle them.
PART 3: How Does God’s Truth Differ?
The third question asks: How does God’s truth about your identity differ from what the world says?
This is where we replace lies with truth.
So let’s go through each cultural lie and counter it with God’s truth.
Cultural Lie: Your worth is in your appearance.
God’s Truth: Your worth is in whose you are, not how you look.
1 Samuel 16:7 says “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
You are made in the image of God. Your body – aging, changing, bearing the marks of life lived – is good. Not because it meets the world’s beauty standards. But because it houses the Spirit of God.
Proverbs 31:30 says “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
Your value isn’t decreasing as you age. Your beauty isn’t fading. You’re becoming more of who God created you to be.
Cultural Lie: Success equals worth.
God’s Truth: Your worth was settled at the cross, not in your accomplishments.
Ephesians 2:8-9 says “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast.”
You don’t have to earn your worth. You don’t have to prove your value. God doesn’t measure you by productivity or achievement.
Your worth is a gift. Already given. Already settled. Nothing you do can increase it. Nothing you fail to do can decrease it.
Cultural Lie: You can have it all.
God’s Truth: You were created for seasons, not superhuman capacity.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 says “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”
Some seasons are for building a career. Some are for raising children. Some are for caring for aging parents. Some are for rest and recovery.
You’re not supposed to do everything at once. And struggling to balance it all doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human.
Cultural Lie: Your body is a problem to fix.
God’s Truth: Your body is a temple, not a project.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”
Honoring your body doesn’t mean punishing it. It means caring for it. Nourishing it. Respecting it. Treating it as the sacred dwelling place of God’s Spirit.
Your body is not your enemy. It’s the vessel God gave you to do His work in the world.
Cultural Lie: More is better.
God’s Truth: Enough is enough.
1 Timothy 6:6-8 says “But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.”
You don’t need more stuff to be happy. You need contentment. Gratitude. The ability to see that what you have is enough.
Cultural Lie: Independence is the goal.
God’s Truth: We were created for community.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”
Needing people isn’t weakness. It’s how God designed you. You were created for interdependence, not isolation.
Cultural Lie: Your value is in how others perceive you.
God’s Truth: Your identity is in Christ, not in others’ opinions.
Galatians 1:10 says “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
You don’t need to perform. You don’t need to curate. You don’t need to earn approval.
God already approves of you. His opinion is the only one that matters. And it’s already settled.
Do you see the difference?
The world’s messages lead to striving, performing, never being enough.
God’s truth leads to rest, acceptance, being loved as you are.
The world’s messages are designed to keep you stuck.
God’s truth is designed to set you free.
PRACTICAL APPLICATION
So here’s your action step for today.
In your workbook, answer those three questions:
- What messages has the world told you about who you should be or what you should value?
- Which of these cultural messages have you believed about yourself?
- How does God’s truth about your identity differ from what the world says?
And then do this: Identify one cultural lie you’ve been believing. Just one.
Write it down. Name it specifically.
And then replace it with truth. Find a Scripture that speaks directly against that lie.
For example:
Cultural lie: “My worth is in my appearance and I’m less valuable because I’m aging.”
God’s truth: “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7)
Write both down. The lie and the truth.
And then declare the truth out loud. Every day this week.
Not because you believe it yet. But because you’re training your mind to recognize truth when it hears it.
Because transformation happens when you renew your mind. When you stop conforming to the pattern of this world and start believing what God says about you.
You’re halfway through Week 2: Understanding. Keep going. This work is setting you free.
The complete Unshakeable: 21-Day Faith Journey workbook is waiting for you at thegracefulgrowth.com/unshakeable. It’s free – workbook, daily emails, all of it.
Next time, we’re diving into Day 11: The Comparison Trap. Because comparison isn’t just a bad habit – it’s a wound that needs healing. And we’re going to understand what it’s really protecting.
If this resonated with you, subscribe so you don’t miss what’s coming. And I’d love to hear from you – leave a comment below or jump over to our blog at thegracefulgrowth.com and leave a comment there!
Thanks for being here. I’ll see you next time. Have a great weekend, God Bless
