What are you carrying?
I’m not talking about your purse or your grocery bags or the laundry basket you’ve been meaning to fold for three days.
I’m talking about the invisible weight. The burdens you wake up with every morning. The things that press down on your chest when you’re trying to fall asleep at night.
The relationship that’s broken. The habit you can’t break. The fear that won’t let go. The anger that’s consuming you. The shame you’re too embarrassed to name.
You’ve been carrying these things for so long, you’ve almost forgotten what it feels like to not carry them. They’ve become part of your normal. Part of your identity. Part of who you think you are.
But here’s what Jesus said in Matthew 11:28: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
Notice He didn’t say “Come to me once you’ve figured it out.” He said “Come to me… burdened.”
Today is Day 5 of the Unshakeable journey, and we’re doing a burden inventory. We’re naming what’s weighing you down so you can finally lay it at His feet.
So Let’s get honest about what we’re carrying.
But before we dive in…
Welcome to Graceful Growth in Midlife. I’m Toresa.
If you’re new here, this podcast is where we navigate cultural chaos and personal struggles with biblical clarity and grace. We’re figuring this out together…creating unshakeable faith in an unstable world!
Before we jump in, if you haven’t joined the free Unshakeable: 21-Day Faith Journey yet, you can sign up at thegracefulgrowth.com/unshakeable. It’s a complete downloadable workbook with daily emails walking you through Discovery, Understanding, and Healing – designed to help you build unshakeable faith in an unstable world.
Now, here’s the thing – this is called a 21-day journey, but you don’t have to do it in 21 consecutive days. You can work through it at your own pace. Take time to absorb. Sit with the hard questions. Some days might need more than one day. And that’s completely okay. This isn’t a race. It’s about depth, not speed.
Also, if you find you need more space for journaling than what’s provided in the workbook, there are additional journal pages in the back. Use them. Fill them up. This is YOUR journey, and you get to make it work for you.
And these episodes? They’re your companion content, going even deeper into each day’s themes.
Alright. Let’s get into this.
So we’ve been building toward this moment.
Day 1, you named why you’re here. Day 2 and 3, you identified the strongholds and lies keeping you stuck. Day 4, you looked honestly at who you are right now.
And today, we’re getting specific about what needs to change.
Not in a shame-based way. Not in a “you’re doing everything wrong” way. But in a honest, practical, “let’s name what’s actually weighing you down” way.
Because here’s what I’ve learned: you can’t lay your burdens at God’s feet if you won’t acknowledge what you’re carrying.
A lot of us walk around feeling heavy, feeling overwhelmed, feeling exhausted, but if you asked us to name specifically what’s burdening us, we couldn’t do it.
We just know we’re tired. We just know something’s wrong. We just know we can’t keep going like this.
But “something” is too vague to address. “Everything” is too overwhelming to tackle.
So today, we’re making a list.
And I know that might sound overly simplistic. “Just make a list? That’s the solution?”
No. Making the list isn’t the solution. But it’s the necessary first step toward the solution.
Because you cannot surrender what you won’t name. You cannot release what you won’t acknowledge. And you cannot receive God’s rest if you’re still white-knuckling burdens you were never meant to carry alone.
Jesus said “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
Not “come to me once you’ve handled everything on your own.”
Not “come to me when you’re finally strong enough.”
Come to me… weary. Come to me… burdened. Bring it all. Bring the mess. Bring the weight. Bring the things you’ve been trying to manage alone.
That’s the invitation.
But you have to come. And you have to bring it.
So today, we’re naming it. All of it.
PART 1: What Are Your Burdens?
The first question in your workbook asks: What specific areas of your life feel heavy or burdensome right now?
And then it gives you categories to consider: Health, relationships, work, habits, emotions.
Let me walk you through each of these and give you examples of what honest burden-naming looks like.
Health Burdens:
This isn’t just “I need to lose weight.” That’s too vague. Get specific.
Maybe it’s: “I’m 40 pounds heavier than I was five years ago and I avoid mirrors because I hate what I see. My knees hurt. I’m exhausted all the time. I know I’m eating to cope with stress but I don’t know how to stop.”
Or: “I have chronic pain that limits what I can do and I’m angry about it. I’m frustrated with my body for failing me.”
Or: “I’m not sleeping. I lie awake replaying conversations, worrying about tomorrow, and I wake up exhausted before the day even starts.”
Or: “I’ve been ignoring symptoms because I’m scared of what the doctor might find. The anxiety about my health is consuming me but I’m too afraid to actually deal with it.”
See the difference? We’re not just saying “health.” We’re naming the specific burden.
Relationship Burdens:
Again, not just “my marriage is struggling.” What specifically feels heavy?
Maybe it’s: “My husband and I feel like roommates. We function, we coordinate schedules, but there’s no intimacy. And I don’t even know if I have the energy to fight for it anymore.”
Or: “I’m estranged from my adult child and it’s killing me. Every day I wake up wondering if today’s the day they’ll reach out, and every day I’m disappointed.”
Or: “I have a friendship that’s become toxic but I don’t know how to end it without feeling guilty.”
Or: “I’m lonely. I’m surrounded by people but no one really knows me. And I’m exhausted from pretending I have it all together.”
Work Burdens:
Not just “I’m stressed at work.” What’s the actual burden?
Maybe it’s: “I hate my job but I’m terrified to leave because I need the income and I don’t know what else I’d do.”
Or: “I’m being overlooked for promotions and it’s making me question my worth.”
Or: “I’m working 60-hour weeks and missing my kids’ lives and I resent everyone for it.”
Or: “I feel stuck. I know I’m capable of more but I don’t know how to get there.”
Habit Burdens:
What patterns are you trapped in that you can’t seem to break?
Maybe it’s: “I scroll social media for hours every night instead of sleeping and then I’m exhausted the next day.”
Or: “I can’t stop shopping. I’m drowning in debt from buying things I don’t need to fill a void I can’t name.”
Or: “I snap at my kids over nothing and then I hate myself for it.”
Or: “I drink wine every night to take the edge off and I know it’s becoming a problem but I don’t know how else to cope.”
Emotional Burdens:
What emotions are you carrying that feel too heavy?
Maybe it’s: “I’m angry all the time and I don’t even know why anymore.”
Or: “I’m grieving someone I lost and everyone expects me to be over it by now but I’m not.”
Or: “I’m anxious about everything. Every decision feels paralyzing. I second-guess myself constantly.”
Or: “I feel numb. I know I should care about things but I just… don’t anymore.”
Do you see what we’re doing?
We’re not being vague. We’re not glossing over. We’re naming the actual, specific, concrete burdens we’re carrying.
And I know this feels heavy. I know looking at the list might make you feel overwhelmed.
But here’s what you need to understand: you’re already carrying all of these things. Making the list doesn’t add weight. It just makes visible what’s already there.
And once it’s visible, you can do something about it.
PART 2: What Are You Carrying Alone?
The second question asks: Which of these burdens have you been carrying alone, without bringing them to God?
And this one stings a little bit.
Because if we’re honest, most of us have been trying to manage our burdens on our own. We pray about them occasionally. We mention them to God in passing. But we’re not actually laying them at His feet. We’re not actually surrendering them.
We’re still gripping them. Still trying to control them. Still convinced that if we just try a little harder, think a little smarter, work a little longer, we can fix it ourselves.
But here’s what Psalm 55:22 says: “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you.”
Cast. Not mention. Not occasionally acknowledge. Cast. Throw. Release. Let go.
And yet we don’t.
Why?
Let me give you some reasons we carry burdens alone instead of bringing them to God.
Reason 1: We don’t think it’s important enough to bother God with.
We think God has bigger problems to deal with than our messy marriage or our weight gain or our work stress.
But that’s not how God works. He cares about every detail of your life. Every burden that weighs on you matters to Him.
1 Peter 5:7 says “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” ALL your anxiety. Not just the big stuff. All of it.
Reason 2: We’re ashamed.
We think if we admit to God how bad it really is, He’ll be disappointed. So we keep it surface-level. We pray about the symptoms but not the source.
But God already knows. He’s not shocked by your struggles. And He’s not waiting for you to get it together before He’ll help you.
Reason 3: We don’t actually believe He’ll do anything about it.
We’ve prayed before. We’ve asked for help before. And nothing changed. So we stopped asking. We started managing it ourselves because at least then we feel like we’re doing something.
But maybe the problem isn’t that God didn’t answer. Maybe the problem is that we were trying to control how He answered. We wanted Him to fix it our way, on our timeline, with our preferred outcome.
And when He didn’t, we took the burden back.
Reason 4: Carrying it gives us a sense of control.
As long as we’re managing it, we feel like we’re doing something. Surrendering it feels passive. Feels like giving up.
But there’s a difference between surrender and passivity.
Surrender says: “God, I can’t carry this alone. I’m bringing it to You. I’m trusting You with the outcome.”
Passivity says: “Whatever happens, happens. I’m not going to do anything.”
Surrender is active trust. Passivity is avoidance.
And God is calling you to surrender, not passivity.
So look at your list. Look at the burdens you wrote down.
Which ones have you been carrying alone?
Which ones have you prayed about but never actually released?
Which ones are you still trying to manage, control, fix on your own?
Circle those.
Because those are the ones we’re about to do something with.
PART 3: The Magic Wand Question
The third question is one of my favorites. It asks: If you could wave a magic wand and change one thing on your list, what would it be? Why that one?
Now, I know there’s no magic wand. This isn’t about wishful thinking. This is about identifying what’s taking up the most mental and emotional energy in your life right now.
Because here’s the thing: not all burdens are created equal.
You might have ten things on your list. But one or two of them are consuming 80% of your emotional bandwidth.
They’re the ones you think about when you wake up. The ones that keep you awake at night. The ones that color everything else.
And if you could just get relief in that one area, everything else would feel more manageable.
So if you could wave a magic wand… what would you change?
Let me give you some examples.
Example 1: The Weight Burden
Maybe you have health issues, relationship struggles, work stress, and emotional exhaustion on your list.
But if you could wave a magic wand, you’d change your weight.
Why?
Because you’ve convinced yourself that if you could just lose the weight, everything else would fall into place. You’d have more confidence. Your marriage would improve. You’d have more energy for your kids. You’d feel worthy of taking up space in the world.
Now, is that actually true? Probably not. But that’s what you believe.
And until you address why that one thing has so much power over you, it’s going to keep consuming your energy.
Example 2: The Relationship Burden
Maybe you’d change your broken relationship with your adult child.
Why?
Because the pain of that estrangement is affecting everything else. You can’t fully engage in other relationships because you’re carrying this grief. You can’t move forward because you’re stuck in the past.
That one burden is the weight pressing down on everything else.
Example 3: The Work Burden
Maybe you’d quit your job.
Why?
Because you’re spending 60 hours a week doing something that drains you, and it’s affecting your health, your relationships, your emotional wellbeing. Everything else would be easier if you weren’t so exhausted.
The magic wand question helps you identify what’s taking up the most space in your life right now.
And once you know what it is, you can ask the follow-up question: Why does this one have so much power?
What am I making this mean about me?
What do I think will change if this gets fixed?
What am I afraid will happen if it doesn’t?
Because often, the thing we think we need to change is actually a symptom of something deeper.
We think we need to lose weight. But really, we need to believe we’re worthy whether we lose weight or not.
We think we need to fix the relationship. But really, we need to grieve what was lost and accept what is.
We think we need to quit our job. But really, we need to stop deriving our identity from our productivity.
The magic wand question is the starting point. But the real work is asking what’s underneath it.
PRACTICAL APPLICATION
So here’s your action step for today.
In your workbook, write your burden list. All of it. Health, relationships, work, habits, emotions. Get specific. Name the actual burdens you’re carrying.
Then identify which ones you’ve been carrying alone, without really bringing them to God.
And then answer the magic wand question: If you could change one thing, what would it be? Why that one?
And then – this is the most important part – pray this prayer:
“God, I’m laying these burdens at Your feet. I can’t carry them alone anymore. Show me where to start.”
Write it down. Say it out loud.
Because here’s what I need you to hear: You were never meant to carry these things alone.
Jesus said “my yoke is easy and my burden is light” not because life is easy, but because He’s carrying it with you.
When you yoke yourself to Him, He takes the weight. He bears the burden. He gives you rest.
But you have to come. You have to bring it. You have to stop white-knuckling and start surrendering.
That’s what today is about.
Not fixing everything. Just naming it. Acknowledging it. Bringing it to the One who can actually do something about it.
If you’re walking through this journey with us, the complete Unshakeable: 21-Day Faith Journey workbook is waiting for you at thegracefulgrowth.com/unshakeable. It’s free – workbook, daily emails, all of it.
Next time, we’re diving into Day 6: The Ripple Effect. Because your burdens don’t just affect you – they ripple out into every area of your life. And we’re going to look honestly at what that impact looks like.
If this resonated with you, subscribe so you don’t miss what’s coming. And I’d love to hear from you – leave a comment or connect at thegracefulgrowth.com on our blog!
Thanks for being here. I’ll see you next time.
