You’ve tried everything, haven’t you?
The Bible reading plan that lasted three weeks. The boundary-setting book that made perfect sense until you actually had to use it. The positive affirmations that felt hollow even as you said them.
And you’re exhausted. Not just tired – bone-deep, soul-weary exhausted from trying to fix yourself through sheer force of will.
Here’s what nobody tells you: surface solutions fail because they’re treating symptoms, not sources. You can’t behavior-modify your way out of a belief problem. You can’t discipline your way past a wound that needs healing.
So what if you stopped trying to fix yourself and started letting God search you?
That’s what today is about. Day 1 of the Unshakeable: 21-Day Faith Journey. This is the invitation – to go deeper than you’ve gone before, to get honest about what’s really keeping you stuck, and to let God do the work only He can do.
But Before we dive in….
If you haven’t joined the free Unshakeable: 21-Day Faith Journey yet, you can sign up at Unshakeable. It’s a complete downloadable workbook with daily emails walking you through Discovery, Understanding, and Healing – designed to help you build unshakeable faith in an unstable world.
Now, here’s the thing – this is called a 21-day journey, but you don’t have to do it in 21 consecutive days. You can work through it at your own pace. Take time to absorb. Sit with the hard questions. Some days might need more than one day. And that’s completely okay. This isn’t a race. It’s about depth, not speed.
Also, if you find you need more space for journaling than what’s provided in the workbook, there are additional journal pages in the back. Use them. Fill them up. This is YOUR journey, and you get to make it work for you.
And these articles? They’re your companion content, going even deeper into each day’s themes.
Alright. Let’s get into this.
So here you are. Day one of a 21-day journey you probably didn’t plan to take.
Maybe you stumbled across this because you were looking for something – anything – to help you feel less stuck. Maybe someone shared it with you and you thought “why not, I’ve tried everything else.” Or maybe you’ve been listening to me for a while and something about this journey just resonated.
Whatever brought you here, I want you to know something right up front: you didn’t find this by accident.
Because here’s what I know about the women who show up for something like this – and I know because I am one of these women – we don’t go looking for deep spiritual work when life is going great. We show up when we’re exhausted. When the surface solutions have stopped working. When we’ve tried willpower and discipline and positive thinking and all the self-help strategies, and we’re still carrying the same burdens we were carrying five years ago.
We show up when we’re finally ready to admit that maybe – just maybe – the problem is deeper than we thought. And the solution requires more than we can generate on our own.
So if you’re here because you’re tired, because you’re stuck, because you’re desperate for something to actually change… welcome. You’re in the right place.
Today is Day 1 of the Unshakeable: 21-Day Faith Journey, and it’s called “The Invitation.” And what we’re going to do today is get brutally honest about why you’re really here. Not the polite version. Not the spiritual-sounding version. The real version.
Because transformation doesn’t start with having all the answers. It starts with being honest about the questions.
PART 1: Why Surface Solutions Fail
Let me tell you about a pattern I see all the time – and I’ve lived it myself more times than I can count.
Something in your life isn’t working. Maybe it’s a relationship that’s strained. Maybe it’s anxiety that won’t let up. Maybe it’s a habit you can’t seem to break or weight you can’t seem to lose or a spiritual dryness that’s been lingering for months.
So you do what any reasonable person does: you try to fix it.
You read the book. You listen to the podcast. You make the plan. You commit to the new routine. And for a little while, it works! You feel motivated. You feel hopeful. You feel like this time is going to be different.
But then… it’s not. Three weeks in, maybe a month, the old patterns creep back. The motivation fades. And you’re right back where you started, except now you also feel like a failure because you couldn’t even stick with the thing that was supposed to help.
Sound familiar?
Here’s what I’ve learned, both from my own life and from walking alongside other women through their struggles: surface solutions fail because they’re treating symptoms, not sources.
It’s like putting a band-aid on a wound that needs stitches. Sure, the band-aid might cover it up for a while. It might even make you feel like you’re doing something productive. But underneath? The wound is still there. Still bleeding. Still getting worse.
And eventually, no amount of band-aids can hide it anymore.
This is why the diet fails. This is why the Bible reading plan fizzles out. This is why the communication strategies don’t save the marriage. This is why the positive affirmations don’t touch the deep shame you carry.
Because you’re trying to change behavior without addressing belief. You’re trying to manage symptoms without excavating the source.
And listen – I’m not saying those surface things don’t matter. Reading your Bible matters. Healthy communication matters. Taking care of your body matters. But when you start there – when you lead with behavior modification – you’re building on sand.
Jesus said it this way in Matthew 7: “Everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.”
Foundation matters. And if your foundation is “try harder, do better, be more disciplined,” that’s sand. It crumbles under pressure every single time.
So what’s the rock?
It’s letting God search you. It’s inviting Him into the deep places you’ve been trying to manage on your own. It’s being honest – deeply, uncomfortably honest – about what’s really going on beneath the surface.
And that’s terrifying. Because it means admitting you don’t have it all together. It means looking at things you’ve been avoiding. It means potentially uncovering wounds you didn’t even know were there.
But here’s the invitation: what if the thing you’re most afraid to look at is also the thing keeping you stuck?
PART 2: Getting Honest About Your Struggles
In your workbook today, there are three questions. And I want to walk through them with you, not just tell you what they are, but help you think about how to answer them honestly.
Because here’s what happens when we’re asked about our struggles – we sanitize them. We make them sound more spiritual than they are. We use vague language that sounds deep but doesn’t actually name anything specific.
“I want to be closer to God.” Okay, but what does that actually mean? What’s the specific distance you’re feeling?
“I struggle with worry.” About what? What scenarios play in your head at 2am?
“I need to work on my patience.” With whom? In what situations? What does your impatience actually look like?
See, God doesn’t need the sanitized version. Psalm 139 says, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
He already knows. He’s not shocked by your real struggles. He’s not scandalized by your actual thoughts. He’s waiting for you to get honest so He can actually help you.
So let’s walk through these questions together.
Question 1: What struggles or concerns brought you to this 21-day journey?
Notice it says “struggles” plural. Not just one sanitized issue. What are the actual things weighing on you right now?
Let me give you some examples of what honesty looks like here, because I think sometimes we need permission to name the real stuff.
Maybe it’s: “I’m angry all the time and I don’t know why. I snap at my kids over nothing. I’m resentful toward my husband for things that aren’t even his fault. And I hate who I’m becoming.”
Or maybe: “I compare myself to everyone. Every woman at church who seems to have it together. Every mom on social media who looks like she’s nailing it. And I’m exhausted from feeling like I’m failing at everything.”
Or: “I don’t feel close to God anymore. I go through the motions – I pray, I read my Bible sometimes – but it feels empty. And I’m scared that maybe I never really knew Him at all, or maybe He’s just done with me.”
Or: “I can’t stop eating. I know I’m using food to numb something, but I don’t even know what. And every time I promise myself tomorrow will be different, tomorrow looks exactly the same.”
Or: “My marriage feels like we’re just roommates. We’re polite, we function, but there’s no intimacy. And I don’t even know if I have the energy to fight for it anymore.”
See the difference? Those aren’t vague spiritual struggles. Those are specific, gut-level honest descriptions of what’s actually happening in your life.
And here’s why this matters: you can’t heal what you won’t name.
If you just write “I struggle with food,” that’s too broad to address. But “I eat an entire bag of chips every night after my kids go to bed because it’s the only time I feel like I can breathe, and I hate myself for it” – now we’re getting somewhere. Now we can ask: what are you really hungry for? What are you trying to numb? What does that breathing room represent that you’re not getting anywhere else?
God isn’t afraid of your specifics. He’s been waiting for you to stop hiding them.
So in your workbook, I want you to write the real version. Not what you think you’re supposed to write. Not what sounds spiritual enough. The actual struggles that made you think “I need help. I can’t keep doing this alone.”
And if you’re thinking “I have too many to list” – start with the top three. The ones that consume the most mental and emotional energy. The ones you think about when you’re trying to fall asleep at night.
Question 2: What would freedom from these struggles look like in your daily life?
This question is harder than it seems. Because we’re really good at knowing what we don’t want, but we’re often terrible at articulating what we do want.
“I don’t want to be angry all the time.” Okay, but what do you want instead? What would it actually look like?
Let me help you think through this with examples.
If your struggle is anger: Freedom might look like “I could have a hard conversation with my teenager without losing my temper. I could navigate a stressful day at work without taking it out on my family when I get home. I could feel the anger rising and actually have the tools to process it before I explode.”
If your struggle is comparison: Freedom might look like “I could scroll social media and genuinely celebrate someone else’s win without it triggering my own sense of inadequacy. I could show up to church and not spend the whole time cataloging everything everyone else is doing better than me. I could look in the mirror and see a daughter of God instead of a collection of failures.”
If your struggle is spiritual emptiness: Freedom might look like “I could open my Bible and actually connect with God instead of just checking a box. I could pray without feeling like my words are bouncing off the ceiling. I could trust that He’s with me even when I can’t feel Him.”
If your struggle is food: Freedom might look like “I could have a hard day and not immediately turn to the pantry. I could eat a meal without guilt or shame. I could feel my feelings instead of eating them.”
If your struggle is your marriage: Freedom might look like “I could look at my husband and remember why I fell in love with him. We could have a conversation that goes deeper than logistics. I could feel hope again instead of just resignation.”
Do you see what we’re doing here? We’re getting specific about what the other side of healing actually looks like in your everyday, practical life.
Not just “I want to be free” – but free to do what? Free to feel what? Free to experience what?
Because transformation isn’t some vague spiritual concept. It’s concrete. It shows up in how you respond when your kid spills milk all over the floor you just cleaned. It shows up in whether you can receive a compliment without immediately deflecting it. It shows up in whether you can sit with silence without needing to fill it with something – anything – to avoid being alone with your thoughts.
So don’t just write “I want freedom.” Paint the picture. What does a free version of you do on a Tuesday afternoon? How does she respond when things don’t go her way? What does she believe about herself that you don’t believe right now?
This is important because it gives you something to move toward. Not just something to run from.
Question 3: What are you afraid might happen if you go deeper with God in this area?
Oh, this one. This is the question most people skip because it feels counterintuitive. Why would you be afraid to let God work in your life? Isn’t that what you want?
Yes. And also… no.
Because going deeper with God means things are going to change. And change – even good change – is scary.
Let me tell you what I mean.
Maybe you’re afraid that if you really let God deal with your anger, you’ll have to face the pain underneath it. The disappointment. The grief. The wounds you’ve been using anger to protect. And you’re not sure you’re strong enough to feel all of that.
Maybe you’re afraid that if you really let God address your comparison, you’ll lose the motivation that keeps you striving. Because what if you’re only productive because you’re constantly trying to prove yourself? What if without that drive, you become… ordinary?
Maybe you’re afraid that if you really let God into your spiritual emptiness, He’ll ask you to do something you don’t want to do. Leave the job. End the friendship. Confront the person. And you’d rather stay distant than obey.
Maybe you’re afraid that if you really let God heal your relationship with food, you’ll have to deal with the trauma that created the problem in the first place. The abuse. The neglect. The shame. And you’ve worked really hard to keep all of that buried.
Maybe you’re afraid that if you really let God into your marriage, it still won’t get better. And then you’ll have to make a decision you’ve been avoiding. Or worse – maybe it will get better, and you’ll realize you’ve wasted years being miserable when healing was possible all along.
These are real fears. Valid fears. And pretending they don’t exist doesn’t make them go away – it just means they control you from the shadows.
So write them down. Name what you’re actually afraid of.
Because here’s what I’ve learned: the fear loses power when you bring it into the light.
When you say out loud “I’m afraid that if I let God search my heart, He’ll find something so broken that even He can’t fix it” – you can hear how untrue that is. But as long as it stays in your head, unexamined, it feels like truth.
When you write “I’m afraid that healing means I’ll have to forgive people who don’t deserve it, and I’m not ready to let go of my anger” – you can start asking better questions. Like: who’s actually being held captive by your unforgiveness? Is it them, or is it you?
When you admit “I’m afraid that freedom will require more of me than staying stuck does” – you can evaluate whether that’s actually true. Because staying stuck requires an enormous amount of energy. It just feels familiar, so you don’t notice the cost.
Psalm 139 says “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.”
Notice David doesn’t just say “know my heart.” He says “know my anxious thoughts” too.
God isn’t scared of your anxiety. He isn’t put off by your resistance. He isn’t shocked by your fear of going deeper.
He’s just waiting for you to stop pretending it’s not there.
PART 3: The Actual Invitation
So here’s where we land on Day 1.
This journey isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s not about trying harder or being more disciplined or finally getting your act together.
It’s about surrender.
It’s about saying “God, I’ve been trying to manage this on my own and it’s not working. I’m tired. I’m stuck. And I need You to do what only You can do.”
That’s the invitation. Not to do more, but to let Him in.
And I know that’s terrifying. Because letting Him in means giving up control. It means being vulnerable. It means potentially uncovering things you’d rather leave buried.
But here’s what I need you to hear: you are already known.
Psalm 139 doesn’t say “Search me, God, so that You can finally discover what a mess I am.” It says “Search me” in the context of “You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.”
He already knows. Every struggle you’re trying to hide. Every fear you’re too ashamed to voice. Every broken place you think makes you unlovable.
He knows. And He’s still here. Still pursuing you. Still inviting you deeper.
The searching isn’t for His benefit – it’s for yours.
Because as long as you’re hiding, you can’t heal. As long as you’re pretending, you can’t be transformed. As long as you’re managing symptoms, the source remains untouched.
But when you open your hands and say “Here it is. Here’s the real mess. Here’s what I’ve been too afraid to look at. Search me. Show me what I can’t see. Lead me where I can’t go on my own” – that’s when transformation becomes possible.
Not because you’ve finally earned it. Not because you’ve proven you’re worthy of it. But because you’ve stopped resisting it.
Let me give you a real example from my own life.
A few years ago, someone hurt me deeply. I’m talking betrayal-level hurt. The kind that makes you question everything you thought you knew about that person and that relationship.
And I was angry. Righteously angry, I told myself. Justified in my anger. They deserved my anger.
So I held onto it. For a year.
A whole year of replaying the offense. Rehearsing what I should have said. Imagining confrontations that would never happen. Reliving the hurt over and over and over again like somehow if I thought about it enough, it would hurt less.
Spoiler alert: it didn’t.
And here’s what I didn’t realize was happening – my unforgiveness wasn’t hurting the person who hurt me. It was destroying me.
It was keeping me stuck. It was poisoning my other relationships because I couldn’t trust anyone fully. It was stealing my peace. It was holding me captive to the past while life kept moving forward without me.
I wasn’t healing. I was festering.
And every bit of progress I tried to make in other areas of my life? It all came crashing down because I was carrying this massive weight of bitterness and anger everywhere I went.
I tried to pray it away. I tried to “give it to God” while simultaneously holding onto every detail of the offense. I tried to move on while still living in the past.
And it wasn’t until God gently – and then not so gently – started showing me that my unforgiveness was only hurting me that things began to shift.
He started asking me questions I didn’t want to answer:
“How is this anger serving you? What are you getting out of holding onto this? Who’s really in prison here – them or you?”
And I had to face the truth: I was the one in chains. Not them. Me.
My unforgiveness had become a stronghold. And the lie underneath it was: “If I let this go, they get away with it. If I forgive, I’m saying what they did was okay. If I release this anger, I lose my power.”
But that’s not how forgiveness works. That’s not how freedom works.
Forgiveness doesn’t say “what you did was okay.” It says “I’m not letting what you did control me anymore.”
Letting go of the anger didn’t mean the hurt wasn’t real. It didn’t mean I was excusing the betrayal. It meant I was choosing to stop reliving it. To stop letting it write my story. To stop giving my past power over my present.
And when I finally released it – when I stopped rehearsing the offense and started asking God to heal the wound underneath – that’s when things shifted.
Not because the person apologized. They didn’t.
Not because the relationship was restored. It wasn’t.
But because I stopped being held captive by what happened years ago.
Did the hurt magically disappear? No. But I stopped letting it define me. I stopped deriving my identity from what was done to me and started remembering who God says I am.
That’s what this journey is about.
Not fixing your time management or your eating habits or your marriage or whatever surface issue brought you here.
It’s about letting God search you and expose the lies underneath. The beliefs driving the behavior. The wounds creating the patterns.
Because when the foundation shifts, everything built on it shifts too.
PRACTICAL APPLICATION
So here’s what I want you to do today.
After you finish listening to this episode, open your workbook. Answer those three questions honestly. Not perfectly – honestly.
What struggles brought you here? Name them specifically.
What would freedom look like? Paint the picture in concrete, daily terms.
What are you afraid might happen if you go deeper? Bring the fear into the light.
And then – this is your action step for today – write a prayer.
Not a fancy, eloquent, perfectly-worded prayer. Just an honest conversation with God.
Tell Him one thing you’re hoping He’ll transform over the next 21 days.
Maybe it’s: “God, I’m hoping You’ll help me stop hating my body.”
Or: “God, I’m hoping You’ll heal whatever’s making me so angry all the time.”
Or: “God, I’m hoping You’ll help me feel close to You again.”
Or: “God, I’m hoping You’ll show me why I can’t stop comparing myself to everyone else.”
One thing. Be specific. Be honest.
And then invite Him in. “Search me. Test me. See what’s really going on. Lead me in the way everlasting.”
That’s it. That’s Day 1.
You’re not fixing anything today. You’re just opening the door.
You’re saying “I’m here. I’m tired of surface solutions. I’m ready to go deeper. Even though I’m scared. Even though I don’t know what You’re going to uncover. I’m ready.”
And that, my friend, is the bravest thing you can do.
If what we talked about today resonated with you, the Unshakeable: 21-Day Faith Journey is waiting for you at Unshakeable. It’s completely free – you’ll get the full workbook, daily emails, and access to this entire teaching library we’re building together.
Next time, we’re diving into Understanding Strongholds – what they are, how they form, and why you can’t willpower your way past them. Because before we can demolish the patterns keeping you stuck, you have to recognize them. And that’s exactly what we’re going to do in Episode 2.
If this resonated with you, subscribe so you don’t miss what’s coming. And I’d love to hear from you – leave a comment below!
Thanks for being here. I’ll see you next time. God Bless.
