Have you ever found yourself scrolling online late at night, adding things to your cart that you don’t really need? Things you probably won’t even remember ordering tomorrow?
Or maybe you’re pouring that second glass of wine after a particularly hard day, telling yourself, “I deserve this. I’ve earned it.”
Or perhaps it’s the pantry you find yourself standing in front of, eating something – anything – even though you’re not hungry. You’re just… searching for something.
I know we’ve all been there. We’ve all tried to fill that something deep inside with a quick fix. Shopping. Food. Busyness. Another Netflix series. Endless scrolling through social media. Overcommitting to activities. Even relationships we pour ourselves into, hoping they’ll make us feel whole.
We name it, we’ve tried it.
All these little things that promise to make us feel better – at least for a moment. They whisper, “Just one more. Just this once. This will help.”
But here’s the truth, the hard truth we don’t always want to face: Those things don’t actually make us feel better. They just distract us. They numb us. They keep us busy enough that we don’t have to sit with what’s really going on inside.
Today, we’re talking about the empty spaces. The void we keep trying to fill with everything except the One thing – the One Person – who can actually satisfy it.
We’re going to talk about why we reach for substitutes, how to recognize when we’re doing it, and most importantly, how to let God fill what we’ve been trying to fix on our own.
Because friend, there is freedom waiting for you on the other side of this conversation. Real freedom. The kind that doesn’t fade when the shopping high wears off or when the distraction ends.
So stay with me.
SECTION 1: THE UNIVERSAL SEARCH FOR HAPPINESS
Here’s something I think we can all agree on: We all want to feel okay. We want to feel happy, peaceful, content, loved. We want to feel like we’re enough, like our lives are enough, like we’re not constantly chasing something just out of reach.
And when we don’t feel that way – when we feel empty, anxious, lonely, or overwhelmed – we reach for something. Anything. Anything that might give us even a little bit of relief, even if it’s just temporary.
For some of us, it’s food. We eat our feelings, as they say. For others, it’s shopping – retail therapy that leaves us with full closets but empty hearts. Some of us turn to busyness, filling every moment of our schedules so we don’t have time to think or feel. Some of us lose hours to doomscrolling, watching other people’s lives, comparing, numbing, distracting.
And some of us turn to things that seem productive or even noble work, perfectionism, serving others to the point of exhaustion. Because if we’re doing enough, achieving enough, helping enough, maybe we’ll finally feel like we’re enough.
Now, let me be clear: We’re not bad for wanting joy. We’re not wrong for craving peace or comfort. God designed us to seek fulfillment. The problem isn’t the craving – it’s the substitute we reach for.
We tell ourselves: Once I buy this, I’ll feel better. Once I lose that weight, I’ll be happy. Once I get that job, that relationship, that house, that achievement – then I’ll finally feel whole. Then I’ll finally be satisfied.
For me? It was plants. I know that sounds silly, but it’s true. I would tell myself, “Once I get that next monstera, that rare philodendron, that perfect fiddle leaf fig – then I’ll be happy.” And for a day or two, I was. But then the newness wore off, and I was right back where I started. Searching. Reaching. Craving something more.
But no matter how much we chase, the peace never lasts. That happiness we thought we’d found? It fades. And it doesn’t even take that long, does it? A few days, maybe a week. And then we’re back to that same empty feeling, that same restlessness.
So what do we do? We do it again. We reach for the same thing, or we try something new. It’s like a dopamine hit – the highs and lows, the temporary rush followed by the crash. It’s like those awful caffeine crashes where you feel worse than you did before you had the coffee.
And the scariest part? We don’t even notice how automatic it’s become. It’s just what we do. It’s our coping mechanism. It’s our default.
But here’s what I’ve learned, and what I want you to really hear today: What we’re really craving isn’t a thing. It’s not a product, a relationship, an achievement, or a distraction.
What we’re really craving is connection. With God. With our Creator. With the One who made us and knows us and loves us completely.
Ecclesiastes 3:11 says this: “He has set eternity in the human heart.”
Let that sink in for a moment. God has placed eternity – a longing for something beyond this world – inside each one of us. That means there’s a God-shaped space inside our hearts, and nothing else will fit quite right. Nothing else will satisfy the way He does.
Everything else – the shopping, the distractions, the numbing, the striving – it’s all just fake. Temporary. Empty.
We’re trying to fill an infinite void with finite things. And it will never, ever work.
So today, we’re going to talk about how to recognize when we’re doing this, why only God can truly fill that void, and what it looks like to actually let Him in.
SECTION 2: RECOGNIZING THE SIGNS OF A SPIRITUAL VOID
So now that we know what we’re doing – now that we’ve named this pattern of reaching for substitutes instead of God – how can we catch ourselves in the moment? How can we recognize the signs of a spiritual void before we go running to fill it with something that won’t work?
Let’s take a moment to reflect. I’m going to ask you some questions, and I want you to really sit with them. Don’t rush past them. Let them sink in.
What do you run to when you’re stressed?
What do you reach for when you’re lonely?
What do you turn to when you’re bored, or anxious, or overwhelmed?
What’s the thing you tell yourself you could stop anytime – but you don’t?
What leaves you feeling emptier after you’ve done it?
If something came to mind just now – if you felt that little twinge of conviction – that’s the Holy Spirit. He’s not condemning you. He’s just gently pointing out, “Hey, let’s look at this together. Let’s talk about what’s really going on here.”
Because here’s the thing: The enemy doesn’t always tempt us with obvious sin. Sometimes he distracts us with substitutes. He uses comfort and convenience to keep us from seeking truth. He keeps us busy with good things so we don’t pursue the God things.
Jeremiah 2:13 says this:
“My people have forsaken Me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns – broken cisterns that cannot hold water.”
We build our own wells, and we wonder why we’re still thirsty. We create our own solutions, and we’re shocked when they don’t work. We try to manufacture peace, joy, and satisfaction on our own terms, and then we’re confused when it all falls apart.
And sometimes, those wells even look good on the outside. Success. Relationships. Health goals. Productivity. Ministry. All good things, right? But if God isn’t at the center of them, they’ll always run dry. Always.
But here’s something even deeper, something we often miss:
Sometimes we reach for those distractions not just because we’re craving comfort – but because we’re avoiding pain.
We fill the silence so we don’t have to face what’s underneath it. We stay busy so we don’t have to admit what’s broken. We scroll, snack, spend, and strive – all to avoid the hard truths and feelings that God is gently trying to bring to the surface.
Because silence can be uncomfortable, can’t it? Stillness can expose what’s been buried. And healing? Healing can feel like everything is breaking before it feels like it’s actually mending.
I’ve been there. I’ve filled my life with noise because I was terrified of what I might hear in the quiet. I’ve stayed busy because I didn’t want to face the grief, the disappointment, the fear, the shame that was lurking just beneath the surface.
But here’s the thing – and this is so important: God isn’t afraid of what we’re avoiding.
He’s not surprised by our fears. He’s not shocked by our shame. He’s not overwhelmed by our questions or our doubts or our anger.
He simply invites us to bring all of it – every messy, broken, uncomfortable piece – into His light. Because only there, in His presence, can those things lose their power over us.
How many of us have been here before? Working so hard to fix our lives, to hold it all together, to appear like we have it figured out—that we didn’t even realize our soul was running on empty?
That’s the thing about spiritual hunger: It doesn’t disappear when we ignore it. It just finds counterfeit ways to feed itself.
And those counterfeits will never, ever satisfy.
SECTION 3: WHY ONLY GOD CAN FILL THE EMPTY SPACES
Okay, so we’ve talked about the problem. We’ve identified the void, the reaching, the substitutes. But now – now is where hope enters the story.
Because here’s what I need you to know: God doesn’t condemn us for reaching for the wrong things. He meets us in our searching.
Let me say that again, because I think some of us need to hear it: God doesn’t condemn you. He’s not standing over you with His arms crossed, shaking His head in disappointment. He’s not waiting for you to get it together before He’ll love you or accept you.
He meets you right where you are. In the mess. In the searching. In the reaching.
There’s a beautiful story in the Bible about this. It’s the story of the woman at the well, found in John chapter 4. If you’re not familiar with it, let me paint the picture for you.
This woman is an outcast. She’s been married five times, and the man she’s living with now isn’t her husband. She comes to the well in the middle of the day – the hottest part of the day – because she doesn’t want to face the other women who would judge her, whisper about her, shame her.
She’s tired. She’s ashamed. She’s empty. And she’s been trying to fill that emptiness with relationships – relationships that never lasted, never satisfied, never made her feel whole.
And then she meets Jesus.
And what does He do? Does He lecture her? Condemn her? Tell her to get her act together and then come back?
No. He offers her something better.
He says, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” (John 4:13-14)
He didn’t shame her. He offered her living water. Real peace. Real belonging. Real satisfaction.
And that’s what God does for us, too.
He steps into our patterns of striving and says, “Let Me fill what you’ve been trying to fix. Let Me satisfy what you’ve been trying to satisfy. Let Me be enough for you.”
Because the truth is – and this is so beautiful when you really see it – every comfort we chase is actually a clue. It’s pointing to a deeper need. A need that only God can meet.
When we reach for food, what we’re really craving is comfort. And God is our Comforter.
When we reach for approval or validation, what we’re really craving is love. And God is love.
When we reach for control or perfection, what we’re really craving is security. And God is our refuge and strength.
When we reach for distraction, what we’re really trying to escape is pain. And God is our healer.
Every single thing we reach for is pointing us back to something God offers. The problem is, we keep going to the substitute instead of the Source.
But when we reach for God instead of our coping mechanism? When we bring our emptiness, our anxiety, our cravings, our pain directly to Him? That’s when everything changes.
That’s when we begin to experience satisfaction that actually lasts. Peace that doesn’t depend on circumstances. Joy that isn’t fragile. Love that doesn’t fade when we fail or fall short.
Because God doesn’t love you because of what you do. He loves you because of who He is. And that love – that perfect, unchanging, unconditional love – is what your soul has been searching for all along.
SECTION 4: PRACTICAL WAYS TO LET GOD FILL THE VOID
Alright, let’s talk about how we actually live this out. Because it’s one thing to understand this concept intellectually, and it’s another thing entirely to put it into practice day by day, moment by moment.
So I want to give you four very practical steps you can start implementing this week. These aren’t complicated. You don’t need any special training or tools. You just need a willing heart.
1. Pause Before You Reach for It
The first step is simply this: Pause.
Before you grab the phone to scroll. Before you head to the kitchen for the snack. Before you pour the glass of wine. Before you open the shopping app. Before you say yes to another commitment you don’t have energy for.
Just pause.
Take a breath. And ask yourself: “What am I really feeling right now?”
Are you tired? Lonely? Anxious? Overwhelmed? Bored? Sad? Angry? Afraid?
Naming the emotion is the first step toward healing. Because when you can name what you’re feeling, you can bring it to God instead of stuffing it down or numbing it out.
You might be surprised at what comes up when you actually stop and ask that question. Sometimes we’re not even aware of what we’re feeling until we pause long enough to notice.
2. Invite God Into the Craving
Once you’ve paused and named what you’re feeling, the next step is to invite God into it.
Pray honestly. And I mean really honestly-no churchy language, no trying to sound spiritual. Just talk to Him like you would a friend.
“Lord, I feel so empty right now. I don’t even know why. I just feel like something’s missing, and I want to fill it with [insert your thing here]. But I know that won’t actually help. So I’m bringing this to You instead. Help me. Comfort me. Fill this space. Show me what I really need.”
You don’t have to have perfect words. You don’t have to sound eloquent. God just wants your honesty. He wants your heart, raw and real.
And when you pray that prayer – when you invite Him in instead of reaching for the substitute—something shifts. You might not feel it immediately, but you’re creating space for Him to move. You’re choosing connection over distraction. And that matters.
3. Replace, Don’t Just Remove
Here’s something really important: God isn’t calling you to deprivation. He’s calling you to redirection.
If you just try to stop doing something without replacing it with something better, you’ll end up feeling deprived and resentful. And eventually, you’ll go right back to the old pattern.
So instead of just saying, “I’m not going to scroll social media anymore,” replace it with something life-giving. Maybe it’s reading Scripture. Maybe it’s going for a walk and praying. Maybe it’s journaling. Maybe it’s calling a friend.
Replace shopping with practicing gratitude – thank God for what you already have instead of focusing on what you don’t.
Replace stress eating with a walk outside where you can breathe, pray, and reconnect with your body and with God.
Replace endless scrolling with reading a chapter of a book that feeds your soul, or listening to worship music, or working through a devotional.
When you create space, God will fill it. But you have to be intentional about what you’re filling that space with.
4. Find Accountability and Community
Finally – and this one’s huge – find accountability and community.
Healing rarely happens in isolation. We need people. We need others who can remind us of truth when we forget it. We need safe spaces where we can be honest about our struggles without fear of judgment.
Maybe it’s a close friend you can text when you’re feeling tempted to fall back into old patterns. Maybe it’s a small group at church where you can be real about what you’re going through. Maybe it’s a counselor or a spiritual director who can walk with you through this process.
Don’t try to do this alone. God designed us for community. And sometimes, His voice comes through the people He’s placed in our lives.
Philippians 4:19 says this:
“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus.”
All your needs. Not just the spiritual ones. Emotional needs. Physical needs. Relational needs. He cares about every single part of your life.
He’s not distant or disinterested. He’s close. He’s present. He’s ready to meet you exactly where you are.
And if you’re working on health goals, or trying to simplify your habits as we head into a new year, this is where the real transformation begins.
Not from striving, but from surrender. Not from adding more to your plate, but from making space for what truly matters.
SECTION 5: THE FREEDOM THAT FOLLOWS
So what happens when you actually start doing this? When you stop filling your heart with the world and start making room for God?
Here’s what I’ve discovered, both in my own life and in the lives of countless women I’ve walked with:
You’ll notice something change. And it’s subtle at first, but it’s undeniable.
You’ll feel lighter. More grounded. More at peace. Not because your circumstances changed—maybe they didn’t – but because your source did.
That’s the moment where healing becomes transformation.
You realize that what you were really missing all along wasn’t the new outfit, the perfect body, the next achievement, the scroll through social media, or even the thing you thought would finally make you happy.
What you were missing was the quiet assurance of His presence. The deep knowing that you are loved, that you are enough, that you are held.
I’ve had moments like this in my own life. Times where I reached for comfort instead of prayer. Where I tried to fill the void with shopping – yes, more plants—and drinking and endless searching through podcasts and self-help books. Anything to try and find that peace I once had.
But nothing worked. Absolutely nothing. Zilch. Nada.
And then, slowly, gently, I felt God start whispering in my ear. Calling me back. Inviting me to stop running and just rest in Him.
It took time for me to truly surrender again. I’m not going to lie – it wasn’t instant. But once I did? Once I stopped trying to fix it all on my own and just let Him in?
The need to fill the void vanished. The urge to shop, to numb, to distract – it just… faded.
And now, when I feel that familiar unsettled feeling creeping back in, I’ve learned to pause and say, “Hey God, what am I feeling right now? What’s going on? What do I really need?”
And every single time I do that – very time I invite Him into that space instead of reaching for a substitute – peace replaces the craving.
Not instantly. But deeply.
The world promises satisfaction that fades. But the satisfaction God offers? It’s so much deeper. So much more fulfilling. So much more real.
When we let Him in, the void we’ve been trying to fill, the emptiness we’ve been running from – it’s replaced with peace, with joy, with clarity, with purpose.
That’s the freedom that follows surrender. And friend, it’s worth it. It’s so, so worth it.
TODAY’S CHALLENGE
Alright, here’s your challenge for this week. I want you to do something that might feel uncomfortable, but I promise you, it’s powerful.
This week, I want you to notice what you reach for when you feel empty, anxious, bored, or overwhelmed.
Don’t judge yourself. Don’t beat yourself up. Just notice.
And the next time that craving hits – the next time you feel that pull toward your go-to distraction or comfort – pause.
Ask yourself: “Is this filling me, or is it numbing me?”
Then, right in that moment, invite God in. Talk to Him. Be honest. Tell Him what you’re feeling and what you need.
You might be surprised how quickly His peace steps in when you simply make space for Him.
Try it. I dare you. See what happens when you choose connection over distraction, even just once this week.
So that’s it for today, friend.
Remember – nothing this world offers will ever satisfy the way His presence does. The peace you’re searching for isn’t found in the next thing. It’s found in the next prayer.
If this episode encouraged you, would you do me a favor? Share it with someone who’s searching for that same peace. Send it to a friend, post it on your stories, leave a review – however you want to spread the word. Because I truly believe these conversations can change lives when we’re willing to be honest and point each other back to Jesus.
As we move into this next season together, we’re going to keep talking about creating rhythms that renew your soul and help you live with peace, purpose, and balance.
So stay tuned for our next episode, where we’ll be talking about Searching for Peace in All the Wrong Places.
Until then, keep your eyes on Christ
See you next time, and God bless.
